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Frederic C. Bartter
General Clinical Research Center (GCRC)

 

 

Microsoft Haiku Humor

 

In Japan, on their computers they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third.
Haikus are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity.
 
 ---------------------------------------
 Your file was so big.
 It might be very useful.
 But now it is gone.
 ---------------------------------------
 The Web site you seek
 Cannot be located, but
 Countless more exist.
 ---------------------------------------
 Chaos reigns within.
 Reflect, repent, and reboot.
 Order shall return.
 ---------------------------------------
 Program aborting:
 Close all that you have worked on.
 You ask far too much.
 ---------------------------------------
 Windows has now crashed.
 I am the Blue Screen of Death.
 No one hears your screams.
 ---------------------------------------
 Yesterday it worked.
 Today it is not working.
 Windows is like that.
 ---------------------------------------
 First snow, then silence.
 This thousand-dollar screen dies
 So beautifully.
 ---------------------------------------
 With searching comes loss
 And the presence of absence:
 "My Novel" not found.
 ---------------------------------------
 The Tao that is seen
 Is not the true Tao-until
 You bring fresh toner.
 ---------------------------------------
 Stay the patient course.
 Of little worth is your ire.
 The network is down.
 ---------------------------------------
 A crash reduces
 Your expensive computer
 To a simple stone.
 ---------------------------------------
 Three things are certain:
 Death, taxes, and lost data.
 Guess which has occurred.
 ---------------------------------------
 You step in the stream,
 But the water has moved on.
 This page is not here.
 ---------------------------------------
 Out of memory.
 We wish to hold the whole sky
 But we never will.
 ---------------------------------------
 Having been erased,
 The document you're seeking
 Must now be retyped.
 -------------------------------------
 Serious error.
 All shortcuts have disappeared.
 Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

 

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                        Date page last modified:  12/09/05 10:21 AM